FAQs
How do I find a therapist?
There are several ways to find a therapist that might best fit your needs, including word of mouth, online search directories, and community referrals.
One of the best ways to find a therapist is through a word-of-mouth recommendation from a friend, family member, or colleague. While sometimes others do not want to disclose that they have been seeing a therapist — or you may not want others to know you are looking — receiving a personal recommendation from someone who has experience with a particular therapist and can speak to their qualities can be an excellent way of navigating what can feel like an endless sea of options. Additionally, since the recommender may know both the therapist and you, there is a greater likelihood of a good fit between the two of you.
Another useful approach is searching an online directory such as Psychology Today or GoodTherapy. This may not reduce the number of options, but if you already have a sense of what you’re looking for — a particular specialty, location, or type of provider — a directory search can save you significant time.
Finally, other professionals can be a valuable source of referrals. A common example is mentioning anxiety or depression to your primary care physician, who may then provide referrals to psychotherapy or psychiatric providers. This can also happen through other professionals — from nutritionists to other mental health providers with different specialties. Our goal in any initial consultation is to help you find the best fit for your needs, even if that turns out to be someone outside our practice. We maintain a list of vetted providers we trust and are happy to offer referrals when appropriate.
What should I look for in a therapist?
Finding a good fit with a psychotherapist you feel comfortable with and trust is essential — that relationship is the vehicle through which all meaningful outcomes occur. But what does a “good” relationship mean in the context of therapy?
A good therapeutic relationship involves more than feeling understood — it involves actually being understood. It means working with someone who pays attention to the inherent power dynamics in the room, remains flexible in their interpretations of your concerns, and is willing to gently nudge you toward something you may not yet be aware of. That combination of warmth, honesty, and clinical rigor is what we aim to bring to every relationship.
How long does therapy take?
The honest answer is that it depends — and much of what determines the length of treatment is not predictable at the outset. Progression in therapy does not follow a straight line. People continue living in the same challenging contexts and systems throughout treatment, and those systems often push back against change. Additionally, therapy frequently involves shifting long-standing patterns that have taken years to develop, which makes their resolution rarely amenable to just a few sessions.
For a more technical answer: outcome research suggests that approximately 20 sessions are needed for 50% of people to experience clinically meaningful benefit, and around 40 sessions for 75% of people. While “clinically meaningful” is subjectively defined, what this tells us is that therapy takes time — and that’s a reasonable expectation to have coming in.
What kind of therapy should I do?
There are hundreds of different therapeutic models, and each therapist practices their chosen model in their own unique way. A therapeutic model — sometimes called an “orientation” — reflects the therapist’s worldview: how they understand people, how problems develop and get resolved, how much they disclose about themselves, how much talking occurs, whether homework is assigned, and so on. You may have heard of some of the more common models: cognitive-behavioral, psychodynamic, humanistic, existential, behavioral, or solution-focused, among others.
Despite what internet articles may suggest, a substantial body of research has consistently shown that no therapeutic model is superior to another. What matters most is the quality and genuineness of the relationship between therapist and client — which is why the question of fit is so central. Doing some research on types of therapy can be useful, but it can also unnecessarily limit your options. We’d encourage curiosity over certainty when it comes to approach.
How does therapy work?
This is the area where the greatest differences of opinion exist among therapists. Some would say people need more information, learning, insight, or repetition of new behaviors. Our view is that what people most often need are new experiences — and that is what we aim to provide through the therapeutic relationship, in ways that can extend into the rest of a person’s life.
Most people don’t come to therapy lacking information. If you can find it on Google, you probably don’t need to pay a therapist for it. When a therapist positions themselves as a wise authority dispensing knowledge, the client becomes a passive recipient — and that rarely creates the conditions for genuine, lasting change.
What therapists spend years learning in graduate school is not just how to talk, but how to engage in a particular way — how to recognize, enter into, and work with the problematic patterns that show up in a person’s life and in the therapy room itself. The hope is that a safe and honest enough relationship develops, in which new ways of being can emerge and longstanding concerns can be addressed.
How can I get the most out of therapy?
Beyond finding a therapist you feel connected to, the most important factors are a willingness to be vulnerable and a capacity for self-reflection. Many people learn throughout life that certain things should be kept hidden — unpopular thoughts, certain bodily sensations, immediate reactions to experiences — for fear of rejection or invalidation. Those are often precisely the ingredients that matter most in therapy. What remains in the shadows tends to have the greatest hold on us.
Alongside openness, developing a habit of reflecting on your own experience is enormously helpful. This might mean noticing what thoughts or feelings follow certain moments in a session, or letting your mind wander to unexpected associations. All of it belongs. Methods vary — journaling, mindfulness, meditation, exercise, conversation with a trusted person — but paying attention to your own experience between sessions consistently enriches the work.
If you’re wondering whether one of our clinicians might be a good fit, we’d encourage you to reach out. We’re glad to have a conversation before you commit to anything.
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